One Ring To AAAAAAAH
On November 24th (or possibly the 22nd), 2008, I did that thing where I got married to another human being, pledging to spend the rest of my life with her. To be fair, I was drinking around 8 red bulls a day back then, so I genuinely didn’t think I was making that much of a long term commitment.
Regardless, with a ring on my finger, I be wed.
And there that ring stayed. For the last 9 years it resided on my finger, never leaving its new home…
…because Fatty McFatFingers hit 30 and apparently I carry my goddamn weight in my fingers. Thus, the ring was stuck.
It hasn’t really bothered me, until recently, when it began to hurt. A lot.
So I did what anyone with internet access does, and I google how to get this metal thing off my finger. String. Butter. Lube. Grease. Oil. Cold Water. Soap.
It wasn’t going anywhere.
That’s when I knew I was going to have to get it cut off my finger. I called the jeweler, who said no. I called another jeweler, who also said no. Finally, the 3rd jeweler told me they wouldn’t do it either, and that I would have to go to the hospital to get it off.
Just then, our office contractor walked into my building…
(NSFW – Lots o’ F Bombs. Lots).
I make very poor decisions.
-Because I Can.
Quote of the Day
“If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.”
-Jim Carrey