Wolf Hard!

Finn Wolfhard might be the most weirdly typecast actor ever. Between Stranger Things, It, and now Ghostbusters: Afterlife, he’s somehow the modern day quintessential 80s actor, even though he was born in 2002. Ghostbusters is the only one of his three big roles that isn’t set in the 80s and it’s so 80s that, well:

Nothing against him, but was he such a standout from the rest of the Stranger Things cast that he’s getting all the best parts? Or was he just the only one smart enough to carve out a niche? Leave some of the other 80s classics for your co-stars, Finn!

You telling me Noah “Will” Schnapp wouldn’t make a fine Billy in a Gremlins remake?

Strap Caleb “Lucas” McLaughlin into the driver’s seat of the forgotten classic The Navigator.

This is dipping into the 90s, but I can’t be the only one who wants to see Gaten “Dustin” Matarazzo as Kevin McCallister in a new Home Alone.

Turn the telekinetic tables and team Millie “Eleven” Bobby Brown up with a new ET.

And how is Joe “Steve Harrington” Keery not in every single 2020 movie? Do you remember how much you hated Steve Harrington in season 1? Do you remember how much you loved Steve Harrington in season 3? That’s because Joe Keery is, like, the best actor this side of Chris Hemsworth. Can we get a Joe Keery/Chris Hemsworth buddy movie? Better question, could we handle a Joe Keery/Chris Hemsworth buddy movie? Imagine Joe Keery as Marty and Chris Hemsworth as Doc Brown with dad energy. Joe Keery as Sean Astin and Chris Hemsworth as the rest of The Goonies. Joe Keery as Atreyu and Chris Hemsworth as Falkor!

Until the rest of the Stranger Things kids each get an 80s property, there’s only one remake I will allow Finn Wolfhard to participate in:

Speaking of 80s Appeal

I’m pretty sure most of the movies I referenced above have shown up in Least I Could Do (The Navigator being the longshot). Can you do me a favour and check for me? The best way to do that is to flip through every LICD collection. If you happen to be missing any, good news! During the Blind Ferret Shop Blowout, you can get the LICD books for as little as $2.