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Hot. Cool. Yours.

What what now? Yep, that’s the official slogan of the 2014 Winter Olympics. I can only imagine it sounds a helluva lot better in Russian. And that’s about all I have to say about the Olympics. I’m sure the opening ceremonies was all very grand and all, and best wishes to all the athelets competing, but I’m guess I’m like that petulant snowflake that refuses to open into an Olympic ring. It gets harder and harder to give a damn.

This season’s Olympics is a giant bag of poop on the world’s doorstep and we’re all just standing around wondering if it’ll burst into flames or we’ll open the bag and find a pony on the other side of the turd.

Speaking of bags of poop (segues! Who’s still got it?) A mystery artist in British Columbia (Canada) left a statue of a deer on the steps of the Penticton City Hall. What’s that got to do with poop? Guess what the statue was made out of? Yep, in protest to the city’s decision to not cull deer which have been damaging property this season, they let their displeasure known in a most creative way.

But this is Russia’s time so let’s bring this back to a country that really does know how to troll-lo-lo with the best of them. The author of the popular satirical twitter account found an enormous wooden penis chained to the hood of her car Monday morning. You gotta see the picture of this thing (probably NSFW). Appropriately carved out of a massive piece of wood and weighing upwards of 200lbs. Naturally this means I must play the song “Enormous P*nis” on my Ustream tonight.

Yes, it’s Friday and that means Ustream time (bam! Another segue!) Tonight at 8pm ET until midnight I’ll be playing a few songs, and drawing a few pics. The mods will be in their pod, keeping watch over the chat room to keep the fun conversation flowing when my rants falter or I’m refilling my drink. Click the links to see some older streams or join us when we’re live.

See you in the funnies!

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