John: You hear about this? John: Apparently John Tesh banged Oprah at one point. Rayne: If there’s a sex tape I’m quitting this world. John: Supposedly, according to the author, the man who Oprah claims is her father really isn’t. Rayne: That actually makes sense. Vader: Oprah, I am your Father. Oprah: NOOOOOO! Vader: We can rule American housewives and the unemployed all the while dealing with your fluctuating weight, as Father and Daughter. Oprah: Can I have a magazine? Vader: Sure.