From the Blog...

Smashing All The Screens

Last week, while I was vainly trying to get work setup for the next year, I kept hearing about this Logan Paul asshole and the stunt he pulled in Japan. After realizing that A) I’m pushing 40 and have no idea who that is; and B) This story has some legs and doesn’t seem to be dissipating anytime soon- that maybe I should read all about it, as they say.

So, I did, and yeah, this guy’s an asshole.

Imagine by reaction then, when a few days later my son comes frolicking down the stairs and announces he wants to be a youtuber.

You don’t have to imagine, because I captured the moment on the tweeters-

“So my 8 year old just walked downstairs and proclaimed that he wants to be a YouTuber. So I’m smashing everything in this house that has a screen on it with a hammer.” –I twote.

Obviously it was in jest, as I’m fully aware just how much replacing an ipad screen would cost. It was the responses to that tweet that caught me off guard, though.

The majority of folks enjoyed the joke, and didn’t think I was the kind of father that would take pleasure in crushing the dreams of his child. Some others thought just that. The third group though, they began telling me about successful Youtubers and how much money they make, and how much my kid might be able to generate.

There are very few things that would compel me to comment on how someone choose to raise their own kids. Very few, but this happens to be one of my triggers. And a parent exploiting and profiting from their child, whether the kid enjoys it or not, drives me mad.

It had me thinking all weekend, so of course that means I had to clarify my position today.

Your job as a parent is to care and provide for your child. That is a one-way street. You care and provide for them until they can provide for themselves as adults, and then you continue to care and provide for them while they rebel against you. That’s how this works.

Kids are not investments, there’s no return, there’s no reimbursements, there’s providing for them now so they’ll provide for you later.

I find it detestable when parents profit off their kids, whether it be youtube, athletics or hot dog eating championships.

Kids need to be kids, and parents need to be parents. That’s the order of things.

The argument of course, is that what if your kid really loves acting? Really loves video production and is dying to do stuff on youtube?

You need to decide for your own child, but for me?

I will gladly put my kid into acting lessons, have him learn video production and see how youtube works through my friends and colleagues, but I will not let him post himself on youtube. Or facebook, or Instagram.

For 2 reasons-

1, The internet is a scary place and my son, when he’s an adult has the right to create his own digital profile;

2, I don’t want my kid to turn into a Logan Paul-like asshole.

-Because I Can.

Quote of the Day

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”
Sigmund Freud

Look Up

In September of 2011, the Chinese launched the Tiangong-1 into a space.

It was an ambitious project for the Chinese, who have even grander space adventures planned in the coming decade, including putting a man on the moon and sending a rover to Mars.

But back to the Tiangong-1, this 8 and a half ton space lab was intended as a prototype  for China’s eventual permanent space station, a 20-ton base set to launch in 2022. While it’s successor, the Tiangong-2 was launched in 2016 and is operating nominally, the same cannot be said for the 1.

Tiangong-1, translated to ‘Heavenly Palace’, has been unmanned since 2013 and the Chinese have informed the rest of the space faring community that they’ve completely lost contact with it as of March 16, 2016.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is that it’s orbit is decaying and it is now expected to crash-land on earth by the end of March, 2018. While most of it will likely burn up and disentrate upon re-entry, there’s a 1 in 1 trillion chance of a human getting hit by a piece of the lab. About the same chance as getting hit by lightning.

Still, I feel like there’s a lesson for 2018 in here, and that is, simply-

Keep your eyes on the skies, mother fuckers, because you never know what poorly Chinese-manufactured object is going to come crashing down from space directly into your head.

-Because I Can.

Quote of the Day

“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.”
Neil deGrasse Tyson

Another Blank Page

Well, hello there, and welcome to 2018.

Like the rest of you, I spent the last week and a half in a cabin up north with family, ranting at anyone who would listen that the President of the United States does not understand the difference between weather and climate.

Regardless, I’ve returned from my self imposed exile to this place, this ‘off-eee-ss’.

I’m finding myself to be rather energized, and inspired about the year ahead. It’s almost 16 years of doing this strip, and while you’d think I’d be running on fumes, in a lot of aspects, I feel like Lar and I are just getting started.

We’ve got some great things planned for 2018 and I’m looking forward to sharing them with you.

Happy New Year, folks, let’s make it the year we want it to be.

-Because I Can.

Quote of the Day

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.”
Charles de Montesquieu